You didn't fail me I failed you
by TwistedOwl
Summary: She didn't... no she couldn't let him see her like this. She was to ashamed, but worse she couldn't stand the idea that she could be the reason he broke the vow he made over Tommy's grave. **rated M for language and violence toward a main character**


**Author's Note:****_So I was forced to change a couple little things about this one shot after a truly magical ass chewing in a review on another one of the sites I post this story on. So if you've read this already the change wasn't so drastic that you have to read it again and if you haven't read it before; this is a stand alone inspired from another story I'm writing called Remembering Us. You don't have to read that first to understand this, but I would recommend it none the less so you don't feel like you're missing something._**

********Warning****** ****_There is man on woman abuse and some pretty harsh language... If _****_ANY_****_ of that offends you I would deeply recommend you don't read this. If you're following Remembering Us this isn't something you have to read to understand the story it's just a tiny branch off of the metaphorical tree that is Remembering Us._**

**Dedication****: ****_This fiction is for Brennan84, she asked for it and it inspired me._**

**Disclaimer****: ****_Arrow still isn't mine_**

She looked in the mirror for what seemed like the thousandth time. She could see that the wounds were healing, slowly but surely. Sadly though they weren't healing fast enough. She hadn't been in the Arrow cave in almost a week and she was quite sure that she was going threw withdrawal. A week of no crime fighting, a week of no sticking it to the metaphorical man and worse of it all; a week without Diggle and more importantly a week without Oliver. Sure she helped them a little bit from her apartment, but she promised herself that she wouldn't leave her home until the marks were gone. She refused to let two of her favorite people in the world see her so defeated.

She lightly ran her hand down her cheek and she was taken back to the day before this happened, back to when she believed that Jack was a decent guy. He called her and invited her to go to this thing for his work. He was the owner of a small computer company that specialized in writing software. His work had a party at a big company so Jack could rub elbows with the right people with the hope that he would be able to get them to sign a three years contact with him and use his software for their company.

She wished him luck, but respectfully declined his request. She told him since she was an assistant to Oliver Queen she had to be at his side that evening for an event at Queen's Consolidated the same evening. Jack made no effort to hide the fact that he hated how much time she spent with Oliver, but Felicity always hoped that Jack would eventually understand that it was her job to be around Oliver... But she would soon come to learn how naïve she was being.

The party at QC was going very well and Oliver was playing his role as CEO flawlessly, but that's all it was... A role. The night had been planed with the single ambition of collecting some information on Cameron Carrier, a known sex slave trafficker and arms dealer. He also just happened to have an important role in Starling City's local government.

Felicity spent the night close to Oliver's side in a deep green dress that Oliver had sent to her house that afternoon. She hated when he did things like that, but she knew better then to argue with him about it because he would just stand there and take her verbal lashing, but would continue to stay completely unswayed by her words. So she bit her tongue and put on the dress and got ready for the evening.

She caught Oliver watching her more than once and lost count of how many times he placed his hand on her in some way. Whether it was resting his hand at the small of her back or placing a hand on her upper arm. She knew she should have put some space between Oliver and herself, but she just couldn't pull herself to do it. Despite the fact that she had been with Jack for close to six months Oliver still held a special place in her heart and he probably always will. She came to terms with that a long.

It was the last dance of the night and Felicity was almost giddy. She was able to use some new tech she was working on and was able to hack Cameron's phone from across the room and was able to save all the information onto hers. She was stating all the things she would have to do to be able to use all the information that she got and was wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn't realize Oliver had pulled her to the dance floor and pulled her close to him. It was his heart beat that saved her from her own rambling.

He was warm and he smelled so good that she had to close her eyes and concentrate on slowing her heart. She was always a fan of his scent. He didn't use cologne, his smell was soap and him. She could feel his heart rate picking up a little more under her hand. She used her eyes to look toward him, but all she could see was the stubble on his jaw line down to his neck. At that moment she was willing to do anything just to know what he was thinking at the moment.

She decided to just give into the fantasy for a moment. Being close to Oliver for no real reason, no elevator shafts or bullet wounds just him holding her close to him and swaying to the light music in the air. She imagined dancing with him more times than she would ever admit to and as she closed her eyes and soaked in the moment she realized that her imagination never did this situation justice. She told herself for the next minute and a half that she was going to pretend that that this was real and instead of Jack waiting for her at her place Oliver would be the one in her bed tonight. No one would ever know her thoughts and she could hate herself for it in the morning.

Felicity shakes the memory from her mind and walks from the bathroom toward the whistling kettle in the kitchen. As she prepares her tea her mind goes to the morning that she from the bottom of her heart wishes she could forget.

She was standing in the kitchen cleaning the dishes in the sink when she hears some glass break in the living room. She slowly counts to ten in her head while she works up the courage to go see what happened. Undoubtably Jack just got some bad news and he threw something across the room. He has a bit of a temper, but Felicity hasn't ever let that get to her. She deals with Oliver's mood swings so she always assumed that if she can deal with Oliver then Jack should be a walk in the park.

She had just got to eight in her head when she heard Jack stomp into the kitchen right behind her. Before she could turn toward him he grabbed her left shoulder and forced her to look at him then yelled, "What the fuck is this?"

The threw a piece of paper at her face and as it fell to the ground she caught it and looked at the paper. It was a picture, to be more specific it was a picture of the night before. She was dancing with Oliver. Most of her face wasn't able to be seen, but it was her blonde hair that gave her away. Oliver's eyes were shut and the look on his face looked completely somber.

Felicity studied the picture for another moment and then said, "This was last night at the work party I went to. It was just a dance, it's really not that big of a deal."

She watched Jack's entire body go stiff, "Not that big of a deal? You're my fucking girlfriend! I don't give a shit if he is your boss or your brother no other man is allowed to place a hand on you!"

Felicity felt herself grow so angry that her body was shaking, "This isn't the eighteen hundreds and you can't just order me around like you own me. Oliver is my friend and if we're at a party for work we might fucking dance, friends dance together-"

"The look on his face isn't the look of a friend dancing with another friend, that's the look of his dancing with someone he's in love with!"

"Now you're just being ridiculous-" before she could finish her statement she was silenced by a slap across her face.

She placed her hand over the stinging cheek and looked at Jack. Then she said, "Get out! Get out of my house, I never want to fucking see you again!"

Jack stayed still for another moment and then raised his hand and struck her again, this time harder. Then he struck her again and again. In between his blows she could make out words such as "slut" "liar" and "worthless." As the beating continued she did everything thing she could to fight back the way Diggle had showed her, but her attempts were feeble at best. She didn't know if the beating went on for seconds or months, time seemed to have no meaning. She prided herself on that she didn't cry out, yes she was crying but she didn't scream.

She was on the floor a beaten bloody mess when Jack finally stood from her and said, "I'm done with you."

She could hear Jack walk out of the kitchen and then slamming the door on his way out of her apartment. Felicity didn't move from the floor for a very long period of time. She stayed on the floor until she was completely out of tears. After her tears stopped she walked into the living room and locked the door. There was still glass all over the floor, but she elected to just leave it and went and laid in bed for the remaining part of the day.

The next morning she set up a temp to fill in for her at work and sent a text to both Diggle and Oliver to telling them that she was impossibly sick and as soon as she was better she would return to her duties.

She finished making her tea and reached into the refrigerator for a snack. Oliver has had food sent to her two or three times a day everyday of the last week. He had sent everything from soup to Chinese food. She kept texting him tell him that he didn't need to keep sending her food, and the only time he responded he told her that he just wanted to make sure she was taken care of.

She made her way into her living room and sat on her couch to continue watching the Secret Garden with Maggie Smith, it always made her feel better whether it was physical or emotional it always helped. Her movie was half way over when there was a knock on the door. She got up and headed toward the door and opened it without looking through the prep hole in the door to see who was there first. She figured it was just more food sent over by Oliver... Well she was half right.

At the door was a bag of Big Belly Burger accompanied by Oliver Queen. It took her half of a second to register that he was on her door step and another half second to register that he could see her wounds. She rushed to close the door on him, but he placed his foot in the door before she could close it and then he pushed open the door and entered her apartment.

"What happened to you," he asked in a tone that she knew oh so well; the voice he reserved for bad guys when he was dressed as The Arrow.

Felicity squared her shoulders trying to mimic courage, "It's nothing, besides it looks better then it has all week."

The bag of food sat forgotten on the floor and Oliver's empty hands were now approaching Felicity's face. She knew deep down in her very being that Oliver would never hurt her, but she still couldn't stop the shudder that ran down her spine and the step back she took. Oliver didn't give up through, he just slowed his movements.

He slowly placed his left hand on the side of her neck using his thumb to run it along her jaw and his right hand was ever so lightly resting on her cheek with his other thumb running along the dark skin surrounding her left eye. She closed her eyes again and soaked in his warmth for another moment before she took a few steps back and turned from him.

She could hear his deep breaths and that told her that he was barely maintaining control and then he spoke, "So this is why you haven't been around for the last why? Felicity what happened to you?"

She didn't respond to him right away, she was truly contemplating lying to him. Tell him that she was mugged instead of telling him that she made a bad judgement call with Jack and letting her guard down enough to let this happen. "I uh... I-"

She hears him walk up right behind her and can feel the heat that he gives off, it's then she realizes that she can't lie to him. "Jack and I had a fight," she pauses for a moment to steady her breathing and then continues "he uh... He slapped me, then I told him to get out of my apartment and he uh, he didn't like that too much."

All of a sudden Oliver was in front of her, and for the life of her she couldn't figure out how that happened. He placed one of his hands on her shoulder this time and the other cupped her cheek, "Jack did this to you! Where is he?"

"Oliver, he and I are over... Please let it go," she asked him and she knew her voice cracked and she didn't even bother to try to hide it.

Oliver's face was unreadable. His eyes weren't perfect blue, but black. "What was the fight about?"

She was ready for anything and everything... Except that question. She knew she couldn't lie to him, but she also knew she couldn't tell him the answer either. The idea of telling him that Jack struck her because he thought Oliver was in love with her was unthinkable. Oliver carries so much already and blames himself for so much also that she can't tell him about the fight.

Felicity decided that if she could give him a half truth then maybe that would be enough for him, "I called him ridiculous and then he hit me."

Oliver didn't say anything after that. He continued to stroke her face with his thumb and just keep eye contact with her.

If someone came and told her that she and Oliver were standing in that same position for years she wouldn't have had a hard time believing it at all. The warmth from his hand some how made its way through her body and for the first time in a week she didn't feel like a failure.

Oliver rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. She could smell his skin and hear not only his breathing but his heart rate too. This was the most intimate position she and Oliver had ever been in and despite her high IQ she had no idea what to do. When she was finally starting to relax against him he removed his forehead from hers and replaced it with his lips. They probably lingered a moment longer than they really needed to, but she would never say a word and then just as fast as he was in front of her he was gone.

She ran from her place to try to catch him, but she never had a chance. She heard his motorcycle speed away and then ran back up stairs to get to her phone.

She pushed number one on the keypad for her phone, but her call went straight to Oliver's voicemail. She tried three more times and then pressed the two on her speed dial and was almost instantly connected to Diggle.

"Hey Felicity, what's-"

"John I need you to get to my place right away... Like right now!"

"Alright see you in five," and then he hung up the phone.

Felicity was in her pajamas and light jacket waiting for John outside when he finally pulled up. He got out of the car and after one look at her he ran to her, "Are you ok?"

She pushes Diggle away from her probably a little harder than she needed to, but she then ran to the passenger side door, "We need to get to Verdant right now! Oliver was just here and he left and I'm afraid he's going to do something he's going to regret."

Diggle ran back to the drivers side and jumped in the car. Felicity filled Diggle in on everything from the first slap to the lingering kiss on her forehead all while Diggle broke an impressive amount of street laws.

When they pulled up to Verdant they both basically leapt from the car toward the secret entrance. They ran down the stairs and a look at the empty work bench and another glance toward the naked statue confirmed what Felicity was fearing most.

"Felicity I'll go get him, you stay here in case he comes back," before she could respond Diggle was gone.

Felicity sat in Oliver's work bench for what could have been either minutes or decades, she didn't know the difference. She resorted to biting her nails, an old habit she kicked years ago. She feared the worst. She feared that Oliver would kill Jack, not because she still had any positive feelings for Jack... They died the second he raised a hand to her. She feared what killing Jack would do to Oliver. She feared that it would break him and it would be her fault.

When she finally heard the door open she thought she was going to have heart failure. She looked to Diggle first asking the silent question, "Did he kill him?" Diggle knew exactly she wasn't asking out loud and gave her her answer with a shake of his head.

She felt a pressure she didn't know was there lift from her and against her better judgement she ran to him. She presses her face into his chest and started to cry. She keeps trying to convey how she felt at that moment. She thanked him for not killing Jack, asking him if it'll be ok and finally she begs for his forgiveness.

Oliver pulled from her ever so slightly and asked, "What could you possibly have to apologize for?"

She put a little more space between she and Oliver and said, "I'm sorry I kept brushing you off so you wouldn't find out. I'm sorry that you found out the way you did, but mostly I'm sorry that I made you so mad that you almost killed him. I know how important it is to you that you keep your promise you made in the honor of Tommy."

Felicity moved to look away and it is then that she sees Diggle had left them at some point. As she tries to walk away Oliver lightly grabs her upper arm and turns her to look at him. She sees the sadness in his eyes and she watches them grow even more sad as he says, "You have no reason to be sorry. Yes I try to honor Tommy's memory by not killing, but I also promised myself that I would NEVER let anything or anyone hurt or harm you and I wasn't there. You didn't fail me Felicity, I failed you."

She knows right then that she can never tell him the details of her and Jack's fight. Never. She takes a step toward him and lifts herself to her tip toes and softly deposits a kiss on his cheek. She feels his eye lashes brush her cheek and when she pulls away she see that he had closed his eyes. She softly places her hand on the cheek that doesn't have a kiss residing on and tells him, "Oliver, never once have you failed me and I would stake my life on that you never will."

As she feels tears burning behind her eyes, she strokes her thumb along his cheek one last time and drops it. She walks toward the stairs that lead into the club and when she is about half way up she stops and turns around seeing that he is exactly as she left him. "Oliver why don't you go square yourself away and I'll go get us a drink, maybe two... Ok three." He looks up to her and she can see a barely smile resting on his lips, she watches him for a moment and then decides right then that it would be okay to leave Oliver to his own thoughts for a couple minutes.


End file.
